Christmas Eve - another cycle around the sun - and a ponder on all things magical
I’ve been pondering lately upon the cyclical nature of everything. Absolutely everything.
Einstein maybe didn’t realise how emotive his Relativity Theory would be: as an adult, and as a teacher, I recognise that “the above equation” basically means that “stuff moves because of its relationship with other stuff……” Physicists are not generally remembered for their holistic empathy. I don’t profess to understand physics - never could get my head around it. All those amazing physical manifestations to me are simply magic on an everyday level. I remember sometime around 1970 saying to my physics teacher “BUT WHY?” (I think we were studying a Vandergraff Generatorat the time) and when she tried to explain in mathematical terms, I reached the startling realisation that it was simply magic - plain and simple. I always veered towards the arty side of things. I could ‘do’ maths, but only because it was essentially puzzle solving! I went to a fabulous school which provided me with an amazing education - I learned Latin and Ancient Greek, we studied all three sciences: Biology, Chemistry and magic, and my literature input was great. We put on wonderful dramatic productions, and I was able to study music, learn to play instruments and perform on recognised stages (The Coliseum and The Royal Festival Hall to name but two).
Did this wonderful education prepare me for life?
Not really……
If I’d had my time again, I would certainly never have become a school teacher. I probably wouldn’t have become a midwife either! That was a happy accident which I shall always be grateful for - I couldn’t do it. now - there would be no way that I could pay to study in my forties. I feel so desperately sad that our education system has got things so wrong. I was so lucky to be able to have the opportunity to go back to university in my midlife, with a young family. 20 years on, and here I am a-pondering.
Einstein basically created an equation which explained how things move, almost always in a cyclical manner. The sun rises, the sun goes down. The moon rises, the moon descends. Another day passes, another week, another month, another season, another year. In my magical world, we’re all little ants scurrying around this world, endeavouring to get as much done as possible before the next cycle begins! A favourite saying of mine is one that I heard Rod Stewart quoting on a radio interview some years ago:
“Life is like a toilet roll - the closer you get to the end, the faster it spins”.
I just love this - not sure if Rod thought of it himself, or was simply quoting another creative philosopher. But oh - how true is this!
I remember telling my children to “never be bored”, there is always something that needs your attention, whether it’s something you want to do or not! How often do we put off the chores in order to do something more enjoyable - but that only succeeds in creating angst and guilt. JUST GET ON WITH IT!
Four years ago, when I was told that I had cancer, I really felt bereft at the lack of future. That’s how I thought of it - my future was being taken away from me. But - thanks to the clever doctors, I was able to have a robotic hysterectomy, and “POOF” as if by magic, it was all gone…….. Two more cycles around the sun, and the Future Thief was back again ….. but thanks to those clever scientists (in my world please substitute the term ‘ magicians’) I was able to have immunotherapy, and then, when that didn’t do the whole eradication-of-cancer job, then I had radiation……… and here we are again….. back to Einstein and his team of magicians, warlocks, witches, spellbinders, magi etc etc etc.
My lovely consultant, Dr Alex Taylor is a physicist. (she’s also quite good at the whole empathic holistic care stuff too), and when she told me (on one of those occasions when she came out to see me herself, rather than sending a minion to give me the updated news of what was going on inside me - usually heralding news that I don’t want to hear) ……..”Well. It would seem that the immunotherapy has stopped working, so we’re going to stop that now, and I’ll write (YES….. WRITE) a little radiation treatment plan for you - so that’s what we’ll do next”
How on earth does one go about ‘writing a radiation treatment plan’?????
I have no idea. But fortunately, Dr Taylor is a physicist. I did actually suggest to her that she felt more confident with this course of action? She just smiled. To her - the whole immunotherapy stuff is out of her remit - she works with radio waves, big machines, Einstein stuff…..she’s a magician.
And there we have it - I had eight weeks of magic in that big scary machine. I was told to go away and forget all about it, because the radiation would continue to work………
Three orbital lunar cycles later, and there was a clear PET scan with some inflammation evident (I watched Chernobyl - I get that).
2 weeks ago (14 revolutions of some astral body or other) I had my second PET scan.
Last week Dr Taylor came out to see me in clinic - before I could query whether it was bad news or not, she jumped in with “I’ve come to give you the good news!” “No evidence of disease and no inflammation”……..
Happy christmas to me !
Thank God for the magicians. Carpe Diem everybody.
We all have a role to play. Mine isn’t in the science world…….. I am now concentrating on making the world a prettier place - it may not be on the level of Albert Einstein’s musings - but I can knit a postbox topper with the best of the bunch!
And amazingly - even in Croydon - it is still in place, giving all those last minute card senders a smile when they run to the postbox! (And the fact that it took a lot longer to make than expected is the reason I haven’t sent any cards!)
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