A new year, a new update....... (words I might not have written a couple of years ago)

I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING ON MY BLOG FOR SO LONG!

And when I reflect upon the reasons, it”s because of the addition to the household! (Cue picture)

Yes, little Minstrel, who was supposed to be a Golden Retriever, like our previous family dog Tootsie. But I was persuaded to go Spaniel by my cousin Vicky who was getting a pup from Minstrel’s litter, and told me in no uncertain terms, that I NEEDED one too. 

I held off until I had the results from my scan, which showed stability, so I agreed to take her. 

What a fricking learning curve....... I now completely understand the maxim that spaniel owners quote (with sidelong glances and a wry smile) “Golden Retrievers are born half trained..... Spaniels die half trained”

Last March, when we first collected the puppy, I was horrified. Can you get Ritalin prescribed for dogs? I spent the first six months of her life with us telling other dog walkers that “if I’d had a 24 hour test drive, I would have politely declined......” She is a lunatic. If I could bottle that energy, I’d make a fortune!

At six months, I started to reflect that perhaps, just perhaps, she was getting easier....... Didn’t like to count my chickens, or rest on my laurels, or relax too much - but I definitely wasn’t as uptight about the whole spaniel thing, as I had been in the previous few months. 

And now? Now I love her. She fits beautifully well in our family. She adores the boys. She adores Peter (so much so that she treats him as a puppy sibling.... nuff said). And she is pretty good with me when we’re out and about. In the house, she is a little shadow and even crosses the kitchen with me when I’m cooking, or generally pottering about doing laundry and other menial chores. (She is currently trying to help me type) 😊

She is keeping me fit. Some days, when it’s grey and miserable, and I have no desire to leave the house, I get togged up with waterproofs on and we set off anyway, and I’m always glad that we do. Most days, I’m walking 4-6 miles. I certainly wouldn’t have done that pre-minstrel. 

Her name has caused some consternation. We tend to just call her ‘Mini’ ( which is very appropriate considering her size), but I do every now and again yell “MINSTREL!” when she’s out of sight and I can’t hear her scurrying through the brambles. A lady stopped me in the Country Park one day and asked me if her name was ‘Menstrual’......... I’m now rather more cautious about my pronunciation when I yell at the top of my voice - in fact, I invested in a dog whistle - saves the embarrassing explanations!!!

So Mini has kept me really busy. 

Having the puppy coincided with me deciding to officially retire from work, from the NHS, and from midwifery. This has been the main focus (apart from the children) of my life for the past two decades, and I was slightly perturbed that I might feel a loss...... Have I? 

Nope. No loss. But strangely , all those things that I was putting off until retirement, seem to still be simmering on the back burner!!! Procrastination is obviously my middle name. Most mornings, I speak firmly to myself about getting on with the outstanding chores, but when I tuck myself up into bed each evening, I reflect upon the fact that they are still not started and “tomorrow is another day......”

I am very rarely idle. I NEVER sit down and do nothing. I do, however, do loads of knitting and the production line from my needles has been extremely fecund. Which is a good thing - as we have a new baby in the family. Rupe and Jaye produced a little GIRL! We haven’t had one of those in our midst ever!!!! It’s lovely, and, much to my delight, they chose to call her Stella, which was my own mother’s name. This is wonderful, because previously, whenever I heard the name Stella, I was touched with sadness - but now......it just makes me smile! So the abundance of knitting has proved useful! There are also a few others who are gaily increasing the human race - they know who they are!

So. I mentioned the puppy. I talked about the procrastination of chores. I touched on the busy creativity with yarn. What else must I mention? 

Oh yes. Cancer.........

What news? To be brutally honest, I often forget that I am a cancer patient. My monthly trips to the Marsden do remind me, of course, but in general, I’m trucking away having a lovely retirement, walking my puppy and chinwaggiong to all and sundry, putting off the tedious tasks, watching and waiting for signs of spring - and then WHAM! It hits me again - I HAVE CANCER. 

I had always planned for us to move away from London when I retired. Move to somewhere leafy and green, where passers by don’t throw their unwanted tat in our front garden (the curse of living on a main road). But now? I’m making no plans. (I have also lived vicariously through my friend Denys’ abortive attempts to relocate).....I am watching the property market and wondering if it’ll ever calm down, but I’m making no plans at all to up sticks and move away. The RMH has provided a security blanket for me, and I don’t plan to dump that now (or ever?). A year ago, I was flying high. With a scan result that showed an “almost complete metabolic response” to the immunotherapy. 

In December 2021, with my latest PET scan, the results are not so encouraging. The small area that stubbornly refuses to respond to the Nivo shows a progression. This is disconcerting to say the least, and reaffirms my need to stay here in South London. It is what it is, and all I can do is live my best life. Which sort of underscores the lack of desire to spend my time doing jobs that I don’t relish! My oncology team have started muttering about a “touch” of radiotherapy, which makes it sound quite caressing - we’ll see, In the meantime, we’re watching and waiting. I feel astoundingly well, and I’m enjoying my pauper’s existence (well.... not enjoying the pauper bit too much) and so we’re ‘carrying on carrying on” as Churchill said in dark times 80 years ago.

In 2 months tomorrow I shall be classified as an official pensioner! One of the WASPI women who was born in the 50s and expected to take retirement aged 60. We can calculate that we were not informed about the extra 6 years of waiting for a state PENSION, and in real terms that amounts to over £40k. YES!!! I was one of the lucky ones. I had a job and was able to carry on working - but many women in my age group died before ever receiving their state pension that they were expecting. Mistakes were definitely made with regard to this, and I hope our politicians and civil servants have learned from this..... 

Oh. Wait a minute! Politicians and Civil Servants?????? With what’s going on right now???? Perhaps not. Those wonderful scenes from “Yes Minister” don’t seem quite so ridiculously comical any more, do they? 

Enough of politics. Not going there. 

Other news? 

Yes. After almost 40 years as a couple, Peter and I officially got hitched on 4th January. We were married in Abergavenny during a family holiday organised originally to celebrate his 60th birthday (and then deferred for a year due to you know what....) . We had a wonderful week away - and the wedding went off like clockwork (despite one of us getting our lines mixed up........ guess who?) So now we are ‘officially’ Mr and Mrs.... and is it any different? I’d love to report that wedded bliss is indeed alive and well in Addiscombe - but strangely enough - it doesn’t seem any different! 

And for the Streatham Strumpets who were worried that I had only a few months to go, and was trying to tick off the bucket list asap...........NOT THE CASE!

The bucket list? 

• Make it to OAP status (almost there) 
• Whizz down a zip wire with my (almost) oldest friends Ali and Sue (also almost there)
• Watch my grandchildren grow up (every day shows progression)
• Enjoy seeing my sons’ successes (making me so proud)
• Visit Cornwall as many times as we can (next one planned)
• Enjoy the company of my loved ones (you know who you are....many of you)
• Waste no time on shit that doesn’t matter (lifelong adage)
• Don’t lose energy complaining (ditto above)
• Keep on carrying on (thanks Winston)

Love to everyone - and especially to my Immunotherapy Support Group UK which was conceived just a year ago.... and now there are 363 of us! More than one a day!