Kick that Uterus into Touch

I haven’t done very much since coming home. I took to my bed, with analgesia, anticoagulant injections, lactulose, iPad, knitting, phone, book..... all within arm’s each. Fortunately, our en suite is pretty close as well. I was sent home with two bottles of lactulose - don’t think they’ll be needed. I snoozed off and on (which is confusing when you’re watching something on the screen: “I thought the hairy bikers were making paella, not Creme Caramel......” and Peter called me now and again to see if I required a waitress service. I hadn’t tried to prepare for how I would feel post surgery - you have no idea how you’re going to cope. I tend to keep myself to myself if I don’t feel good, so I thought that being tucked away in the loft was the wisest decision. I have been quite surprised. I felt great coming home from the hospital - but was relieved to clamber up the stairs and fall into bed. The next 24 hours? Pretty ok. Although moving proved painfully tricky - side to side is the ...

Perched in my own comfy bed with Bill the Bolster to support me, I can now reflect upon the events of the past few days. Surgery cancelled at the eleventh hour last thursday - gave us an opportunity to consider this a dress rehearsal for the real thing. What I was concerned about was that they would struggle to reschedule the surgery for a while, but they actually called me on Thursday afternoon to tell me that they were going to fit me in on the Monday (yesterday now). This was an enormous relief - I didn’t want to be hanging around in no-man’s land with Christmas looming. So yesterday, the three of us set off again for the Marsden at 6am (this is the middle of the night for Ned) and we had a smooth journey to the Fulham Rd. I was told that I was first on the list - the surgical team all came and passed the time of day - reattired in gown, stockings and red labels, and ready for the off. The lovely anaesthetic reg, Ben, told me he’d been at St Helier a few years ago, And we talke...

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day...the day I was booked to get that naughty uterus hoiked out by the robot. I was prepared and ready; breathing calmly, accompanied by my dearly beloved partner and baby son (!!!) and had my crochet in attendance and a book to read. I had cut down my packing to a minimum (I’m not good at that), and hadn’t brought extras due to the security and storage problems posed in a busy NHS hospital. We set off from home just after 6 am. As already mentioned, Peter was amazed that there were so many people on the bus ..... “where are they all going to?”. Oh the joy of never commuting and not therefore understanding the economy of the service industry.  We were, in true famille Quiney tradition, laughing heartily - mostly due to the fact that Peter suggested all these people had known he would be on the bus and had come to greet “the Legend”........... {IN FACT - AS I WRITE THIS, PETER HAS JUST SUGGESTED I WRITE A BOOK ABOUT  HIM ENTITLED ‘THE LEGEND ...

Si tting in the pre-op holding bay- Peter and Ned have gone for breakfast - told them not to come back - all a bit tense when we were in the waiting room along with loads of other people awaiting today’s surgery- I had to warn Peter that a lot of people might be anxious or distressed and they quite possibly don’t need to hear the Quineys “having a laugh”...... especially when one of them is rather deaf and laughs particularly loudly! On the commuter train here, Peter couldn’t quite get over how many people were out and about and how busy it was “they must know that the legend was going in to town today....” on the bus to East Croydon, he loudly asked what all those people were doing out at this hour!! On the train, we saw two people with fold up bikes (Bromptons)  and Peter was pleased to see that there is room on trains for commuters with cycles - not like the old days when one had to travel in the mail van...... this reminded me of an occasion in the early 80s when I accomp...

This time tomorrow (bus and train companies obliging) I should be checked in to the Marsden for my surgery/holiday (radical hysterectomy, bilateral salpingectomy and oophorectomy) (perhaps a few lymph nodes will also disappear at the robot’s discretion)...... Peter is going to come with me (not take me - I should be capable of taking myself tomorrow), and Ned says he is coming too......however....I am not going to wait at the door for him, can’t risk being late! I have to have one last shower with the antiseptic wash (which is actually not as bad as I feared) and have whatever I need with me for one (or two, if I simply cannot cope) night (s) at the hospital. I have reading material galore, new PJs, headphones, rescue remedy, homeopathic treatments, a new heart-shaped hot water bottle, a multiple of pillows, a cold water tea infuser, loads of chocolate and other sweeties (currently hidden, otherwise they wouldn’t be there) -  my craft room is ready and waiting for when I’m up a...

7.30 am here I am - sitting in bed a whole 48 hours before I need to check in (using this term because it might make me feel as if I’m off on my holiday) at the Royal Marsden, Fulham Road. What do I have to do? There’s tons of thoughts running through my head - I must remember to shower (ALL OVER, INCLUDING HAIR) with the special antiseptic wash I’ve been given, at least twice, and it must also include the day of surgery - so I’ll have to be up super early for that...... I must do all outstanding laundry - can’t be leaving Peter chores other than pandering to my every whim. I must cook at least two extra meals (see reason above) I must make sure the house is relatively clean. I must put the recycling bins out today (collection date has been moved to wednesdays, and the bin men will not collect anything that isn’t within reach of the pavement 😰) I must finish tidying my craft room ready for action when I’m up and about again. I must buy milk. I must cast on the knit...

It is now only 5 days until I meet Ms Nobbenhuis’s robot. I have ordered internet shopping. I am almost sorted in my new craft room (how can anyone have THAT MUCH wool???) I am trying to get on top of washing and ironing, and general house tidying and cleaning - however, this is tricky when you sort of gave up housework some years ago........ I have contacted my very old friend who doesn’t do social media to update her. I have been visited by super kind friend and colleague Anne-Maria, who has purchased me 3 (yes, THREE) v pillows and covers, (I will need them apparently)  a bolster (because I shall need it to clutch), some peppermint cordial (for bloating and wind), some chocolates (for comfort- and just for luscious ness), some prune juice (for constipation), some de-caff tea bags (to prevent insomnia), and - my favourite - a BELL (to call for aid, assistance, food, drink, general ordering etc etc etc)......... Peter looks perplexed at the bell. Anne-Maria also explaine...

Having changed platforms for blog writing - I thought I’d try to get them all the old ones on to this one now....... not allowed to cut and paste, so I’ve had the old grey matter challenged here....... THE ENEMY WITHIN I am a midwife, a partner, a mother, a grandmother, a teacher, a musician, a comic (well... I thi nk so) and a pragmatist......    first time for everything. Writing a blog at 62. I  I love loads of things! did not vote for Brexit.  I love life.  I love laughing until it hurts. I love the West Country. I love crafts and creating stuff. I love cooking. I love dogs and cats (although currently owning none) I love the sunshine and beautiful autumn colours. I l ove the Bake-off but the Great British Sewing Bee is even better! I love loads of things! I hate people who are unkind and who drop litter......... and I hate bullies. Apologies now to any readers of my blog who are medical - I’m going to simplify everything s...

Today I am mostly thankful for my fantastic workmates (who are all great friends too - young and old) We had a meal out last night at Pizza Express (does anyone ever pay full price at P E??) A sort of Party that’s normally reserved for baby showers and retirements - didn’t quite know what to call it......a hysterectomy party? A cancer party? A LIFE party? Anyway- it was great to see all those beautiful faces....... it was wonderful to catch up.....it was lovely to not be worrying about work.....it was heartwarming to see so many of those kind, empathetic, loving midwives all out (and on a school night too) to see me before my brush with the robot in a week’s time. What’s more - they gave me the most mahoosive hamper of goodies! Loads and loads of presents - craft room gifts, edible gifts, comfort gifts, drinkable gifts, humorous gifts, growing gifts....... gifts galore. Helen came home with me to carry the hamper and to watch me open them all up.  AMAZING......... (and I know...

Yesterday I went to the Marsden for my booked pre-operative assessment. My lovely surrogate daughter Ali (L was C) came with me to hold my hand (but most importantly, so I could meet her second daughter Doodle) and to share the experience, have a catch up, and go out for lunch on the Kings Road.... They were slick with their appointment process:- met a nice HCA who did obs (all good); and Stella, the nurse, who took a detailed history, ran an ECG (heart’s ok), urine test, and talked me through what to expect..... still finding it remarkable that the plan is to come home the following day - although my GP did stress that I MUST not come home if the pain isn’t under control........ don’t worry - if I’m in pain, and in a building where there is access to pain relieving medication, I SHALL BE BLEATING! Because I have agreed to participate in a couple of research programmes, yesterday I also had to complete my first task (a physical task - sounds like the Crystal Maze..... already sp...

Prosopagnosia and Phenology Yesterday, Ned accompanied me to the Royal Marsden for my appointment.  On the train from East Croydon, he was recognised and greeted by another passenger - also a student at the RCA, but Ned struggled to remember his name..... something beginning with E. This happens frequently to my Ned - he has always been recognised easily, but then he’s spent entire journeys or evenings with someone who still remains nameless by the end of the experience! Ned informed me yesterday, that he has discovered that he has “something wrong with him”, and it has a special title: PROSOPAGNOSIA. This is a medical term for face blindness, and a quick google search revealed that the word comes from the Ancient Greek for ‘face’ and ‘ignorance’ (prosopon and agnosia - if you’re interested). I was completely taken aback - I had no idea that such a condition existed - in all my 62 + years, I had never come across this affliction! Ned said that he was reading a book which men...